I have been experiencing a pull towards letting go, but until now it hasn’t been very specific. What do I want to let go of? How do I expect to feel and be, once this letting go has happened?
My personal life is already very simple. The pull toward letting go is about my inquiry and spiritual stance. Some aspects of this feel redundant, whilst others have become naturalised and simply part of how things are.
Over my years of inquiry, I have familiarised myself with many spiritual movements and their understandings, practices and literatures. The literatures include overviews of how these movements have evolved over time, place and culture and how they stand in relationship with each other. I’ve never seen them in isolation or selected one as providing a uniquely authoritative guide. I have been blessed with companions along the way, but I no longer seek or belong to a spiritual tribe.
I am now done with the intentional study aspect, having reached the point of diminishing returns. I might read out of cultural interest, but it won’t be as part of my inquiry. I don’t expect to be entering into new mindsets and following new practices. I have a fundamental sense, or understanding, of being held within a greater life. This greater life is a background presence, except when it becomes the foreground and simply what there is, with ‘me’ no longer apparent. It is this sense of a greater life that supports my At-Homeness, and my commitment to leaning into the flowing moment, the fountain of experiencing. That’s enough: ‘just being’, with an open heart. This simple sense provides my internal compass and my practice is also my inquiry.
I wrote recently – https://contemplativeinquiry.wordpress.com/2019/07/17/inquiry-and-heart/ – about ‘inquiry as self-abiding’ and this, essentially, what I am left with after my exploration of traditions; what remains after letting go. With clarity on that point, I can let go with ease.